When you first begin dating somebody, the experience is new, heady and exciting. Despite whatever took priority in your life before, spending time with your new partner takes precedence. At the end of an evening, you part ways and instantly begin to look forward to seeing each other again. It’s a wonderful feeling. Eventually, dating relationships evolve into something deeper. When that happens, you may begin noticing clues that suggest your dating partner may not be the perfect match for you. Here are 4 hints that may be warning signs:
Hint #1: You’re Continually Excusing Them
Each of us makes mistakes in relationships. Hopefully, they’re rare and excusable. When your dating partner does something that hurts or offends you, it’s healthy to discuss it. However, if you find yourself constantly making excuses for them, it may be time to look more deeply into their character. In fact, you may want to reconsider whether that person is right for you.
Hint #2: Different Objectives
It’s easy to overlook differences in long-term goals at the beginning of a relationship. Eventually, the “honeymoon” ends and the differences become more noticeable. Some may be perfect opportunities for compromise. Others may be insurmountable. For example, if each of you wants to live in a different city, there may be room for discussion. However, if you want a family and your partner doesn’t, the relationship may be headed for trouble.
Hint #3: You Want To “Improve” Them
This happens frequently. One (or both) of the partners wants to change something about the other. It’s important to understand the psychology behind this tendency. If you want to change the person you’re dating, it usually means you’re unhappy with something about them and are left unsatisfied in some way. That presents two problems. First, if you remain unsatisfied, you’ll be perpetually unhappy in the relationship. Second, the person you’re dating may be unable or unwilling to change. If you can’t accept that person, their “shortcoming” may become a constant source of ire for you. This may signal the time to part ways permanently.
Hint #4: When Family And Friends Revolt
If a friend or family member doesn’t like your dating partner, it’s easy to dismiss their feelings as “uninformed” or even inconsequential. However, if several of your friends and family disclose their distaste for the person you’re dating, consider their perspective. It’s often difficult to be objective about the person you’re spending your time with. But, chances are, your friends and family know you well and have your best interests at heart. If most of them dislike your partner, it’s time to reexamine the relationship.
Finding The Right Partner
Naturally, dating is filled with emotions. Spending large amounts of time with a person can influence our perspective and cloud our objectivity. But, it’s important to identify the warning signs that the person you’re dating may not be a good match for you. If you’re constantly excusing or defending them, have completely dissimilar long-term goals, or you want to change them, the future may be bleak.
Finally, if your friends and family tell you that they don’t like your dating partner, listen to them. They may see something you’re missing. Ultimately, ending a relationship that is headed for failure can put you on the path toward finding the right partner more quickly.